29 March 08

Lethargy Forces Forum Closure

The Festival Web Forum has been canned due to spiralling costs and admin time.  The Forum Admin staff released an official statement saying that their lives had been hell since starting this forum, the three posts a month were just mental and that they struggled to cope.  Since the Forum's closure the Admin staff have been spotted working for Bebo.  For those who love a bit of banter and are fighting for any scraps of information about the Festival, they can go to the Facebook Group at this link.

Although the official reason for closure was high costs and web traffic, we all know that to be complete fiction and that in fact the Forum admin wanted to spend more time trawling the internet for pictures of Bucket's swingers....

Sunday's Competition Promises Big Prizes

There is to be a competition on the Sunday of the Festival.  Not only will the winner be awarded a most prestigious cup, but the kudos of winning the said event will amount to that similar as scoring with Kylie Minogue or Brad Pitt (or both).  The Committee have confirmed that the Saturday's hockey programme will be all for fun and the Sunday Competition will have a slightly more serious edge.  This will clearly mean that any dust bin lids used on the Sunday will need to wear regulation goalie kit.

30 March 08

"We're Now International", states Chairman

The Festival Committee has announced that the Festival has gone Global.  A team is coming over from Holland, which let's face it, is closer than Brigg.  Brigg of course hail from the Northern skips of England, and when asked about this revelation they declined to comment as they were busy stuffing their faces with battered Mars bars.

The Empire Strikes Back?

In a shock announcement, it appears that teams from both the Empire and The Jedi (scum rebels) will be making their way to Yateley to try and conquer the Solar system.  The big fight between Darth "The Sabre" Vader and Luke "The Moaning Scrote" Skywalker has been billed as the fight of the Century.  At the weigh in Darth Vader exclaimed that he was going to rip Luke's head off, and all Luke could do was to remove his head from Leia's cleavage and grin.

Princess Leia at her pole dancing lesson with too much make-up on.

31 March 08

Foam = Naked??

Scandal hits the Festival as a leaked document reveals a plan to mix a secret potion into the Foam to be used on the Friday night Foam Party.  This potion is said to make all the party goers remove all their clothes.  When challenged about this, the Committee denied the existence of any such potion but thought the idea was, "brilliant".

The First Complaint

The Festival Committee received their first complaint today.  It appears that another club also hosts a festival on the same weekend as Yateley and due to the rip-roaring success of Yateley's last 3 Festivals the numbers of teams attending their festival have been limited.

Rival festival aims to improve on last year's attendance.